


Sorrow, Thy Name is Nekana

by AshynnaStarlight



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Childhood Friendship, F/M, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Longing, Loss, Love, Mentioning of Injury, Possible Character Death, Sorrow, Ten Years of Darkness, Watching Dawn Come, Worries, selflessness, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 04:29:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12051336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshynnaStarlight/pseuds/AshynnaStarlight
Summary: Nekana had been Noctis' friend ever since they were little. Always standing by his side. Always loving him. No matter how it hurts, she will always loves him.





	1. Welcome Home

**Author's Note:**

> Three Chapter story with a bonus chapter based on a gif set ( http://ssasakii.tumblr.com/post/162780212244/three-life-stages-of-noctis-lucis-caelum-viii ) found on tumblr. It will give snippets during three stages of Noctis and Nekana's life. 
> 
> First Chapter: Noctis has returned from Tenebrae, and Nekana sees her friend again.

She ran through the halls of the Citadel, servants jumping away and chuckling with fond looks on their faces. But also sadness. No! No sadness! Noctis was home! He was home! She hadn’t seen him in weeks, not in person at least. King Regis made sure she had been able to write him or talk to him on the phone. But it was different to see Noctis again in real life.

She had been so worried about him. Her heart crying when she heard that his Mama had died for him. Poor Noctis. She couldn’t imagine losing her own Mama like that. The Astrals had been super mean to him. But she would try to bring a smile on his face again. He always called her Neka Sunshine! That he made her smile. So, smiles she would give him.

Noctis looked up when Nekana entered the room, and she gave him a wide smile. Fighting the itch to hug him because her Mama and Uncle Regis told her that his back was very sore so she had to be carefully. “Hi Noct! Welcome home!” She bounced over to him and sat down on his bed. His blue eyes lit up but it wasn’t the same. She could just feel it. Who could blame him? His mama was gone. It was a bit sad thing. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Noctis whispered sincerely as he had a notebook on his lap, his little hand grabbing Nekana’s softly. The young girl squeezed his hand back carefully. The weight in her chest lifting finally.

“How was Tenebrae? Pretty? I read there are a lot of flowers there!” Noctis smiled a bit wider and nodded slowly as moving too much hurt his back.

“Luna was very nice! She took care of me and told me all these awesome stories!” Awe and wonder filled his eyes. Then he started talking all about this Luna. And Nekana felt the weight returning in her heart. An old ugly emotion slithering in her belly. She should be happy for Noctis that he had such a good friend there! But why did it only made her sadder?

For almost two hours it was all about Luna this and Luna there. Noctis rarely talked so much and so passionately. But this Luna surely made his tongue wag. How awesome she was, so kind, so friendly. So sweet. And the pain grew in Nekana. “I thought you were the nicest person in the world but Luna is even nicer!”

Nekana tried not to gasp as a sharp of pain shot through her. But she kept a smile on her face. She was Noctis’ Neka Sunshine! She had to keep smiling for him. Surely he didn’t mean something mean with it. He didn’t seem to notice what his words did with his little friend who always had been on his side. Always supporting him and cheered him up.

The mood started to shift. Noctis’ smile slipping away. “The Nifs are in Tenebrae now. They hurt Luna’s mum. Just like they hurt my mum. I don’t think I’ll ever see her again, Neka.” The slightly older girl made soothing noises as she carefully wrapped her little arms around her friend. Not caring about her own silly pain.

“Surely you will, Noctis! Uncle Regis will make sure that the Nifs stop hurting people. He’s strong!” she chirped as she tried to cheer him up, feeling husk arms cone around her.

“I want to see her again, Neka. She’s so nice. I miss her. You think she’ll miss me?”

“Of course she does! How can’t she? You’re Noct!” She forced a smile on her face as she looked at him.  _I missed you. Why can’t you see that?_

“You got to become big and strong, Noctis! And then you can see her again! And play with her dogs. That would be nice right?”

He started to smile again as he nodded. “I’ll become big and strong and save Luna! I’ll be her King! And see my Oracle! And we will see the world!” He yawned softly as his eyes started to become heavy. Neka still smiled as she carefully laid him down in bed. Tucking him in.

“Sleepy time for the Night Prince!” His little fingers wrapped around hers and held on.

“You stay with me?”

“Always Noctis. I’ll always be here for you.”


	2. A Long Road Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her heart felt like it was about to crumble, but she will keep on smiling for him. Keep on supporting him. This is what he had dreamed about for all those years. Who was she to make him sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part happens before Noctis and the crew leaves for Altissia so Noctis can get married to Lunafreya.

The stars shone in the sky like the lights in the city, creating a beautiful map. If you moved your fingers, you could connect the stars like dots and create the most stunning patterns. Nekana hummed to herself as she moved her fingers. It brought her relaxation as she did not try to think of the future that was tomorrow. It would only make her cry as it had done hours before.

Her eyes still felt raw and griddy. Probably still red. Noctis was going to marry Lunafreya. It may be on orders of the Empire as part of a peace treaty, but they were still going to get married. And she knew that Noctis didn’t mind that, not at all. Ever since he had come back from Tenebrae, he had become infatuated, no fallen in love with the Oracle of the Astrals.

She smiled pained as the tears threatened to flow again. And for almost a decade, she had known she had loved Noctis but her feelings would never be returned. It did not stop her from trying to be the best friend possible for him….but she got replaced by Prompto Argentum.

Sometimes she wondered what her role in the world was. She wasn’t his advisor. She wasn’t his best friend. She wasn’t his Shield. She wasn’t even the one who held his heart. All she could become was the best damn healer Insomnia and Eos had ever seen. Pushing herself to master healing arts, know how to make curatives from scratch, and even learned traditional herbal medicine.

Anything to be useful to Noctis. To help and serve the one she had loved ever since she could remember. But it still hurt. It hurt so much to see him love another.

Letting out a laugh, she shook her head. No, she could not think like that. She had to be happy for Noctis, support him. Be there for him. Walk beside him as he went through his life. Be his Neka Sunshine. The little bright guiding star in his life. No matter how much it hurt, she would be that for him. Step into that car tomorrow and watch him marry someone who barely knew him.

“Nekana?’ She involuntarily flinched when she heard Noctis’ voice calling out to her and swiftly brushed the last bits of tears away. "Hey, Neka, we looked for you. You okay?” She felt Noctis standing beside her, leaning lightly on the railing. Feeling those blue eyes on her. “Neka…..you crying?”

“Oh no no no, not crying. Got something in my eye. Silly me for thinking standing outside is a smart idea,” she told him giggling as she tilted her head, her eyes closing with a wide smile on her face. He never realised when she felt sad or had cried. Always the ever smiling Nekana for him.

“You excited for the trip! So many fishing spots we can stop by before we reach Tenebrae. Hey! Maybe we can fish on the boat and catch something big!” she chattered enthusiastically, opening her eyes again and looking at the one who owned her heart. Frowning faintly when he looked troubled. “Are you okay?”

The young Prince shrugged lightly, standing closer to her so his shoulder brushed up against hers. “Anxious a bit, what does Luna think of all of this? Suddenly marrying me, I am no one special.” Noctis always opened up to her about his insecurities and troubles. Could he do that with anyone but her? Forcing another smile on her face, she squeezed his shoulder.

“Of course you are, little Night,” he scowled amused at the little nickname she had given him years ago. His name meaning Night in an old language., “Not because you are a prince. But you are a good man with a warm heart. Just ask the boys. They would agree with me. Although they will also say you are a royal pain in their arses. Well, maybe not Prompto. He has a heart of gold.”

He snorted amused and bumped his shoulder with Nekana lightly, watching her. Her eyes glanced to his lips for a slight second. No, no she couldn’t. His heart was Luna’s. Always been Luna’s.

“Nekana?”

“Mmmm?”

“You will be at my side right….no matter what?” She wanted to say no. Wanted to say she wasn’t going with him. For self-preservation sake. Turning to him fully, she smiled at him.

“Of course I will. Just as I told you when we were little….I will always be there for you, Noctis. I don’t want to be in a world where I am not at your side.”


	3. Goodbye, my Nightlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She did not wish to live win a world he did not live, so this end suited her. She would see him on the other side. She was okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, the story was suppose to end here. But my friend atlerion asked for a happier ending, so the next chapter is the alternative ending. 
> 
> Warnings; violence, death, character dying.

She fell back, clutching her stomach as a cry of pain escaped her lips. Her back met the coldness of the stone as she saw the red giant make its way towards her.  _So dark_. She let out a pained chuckle. Maybe it was better this way. Why would she want to see a Dawn rise again knowing what Noctis had to do to make that happen? The sacrifice he had to make after being hurt so much? No. Let her die in battle as well. Let her die. Not that she would find much peace in the After Life. No one would be waiting for her.  _No one_.

A tear rolled down her cheek but she still smiled. Because for a moment she lived in the same world where Noctis was still alive. And she would die knowing Noctis was still alive. Call her selfish. But in the last moments of her life, she had a right to be that.

Her eyes lifted as the Red Giant lifted its broadsword. She felt no pain. Only peace and acceptance for her coming end. Ha. At least she had the chance to see Noctis one last time. See him smile. And soon he would be reunited with the one he had always loved. Surely the Astrals would give him that right? Luna would be waiting for him on the other side.

She closed her eyes, waiting for that final blow. The last blast of pain. For the warmth forever leave her body…..but the blow did not come. The daemon let out a terrible roar as she felt something odd on her skin.  _Warmth_. Something penetrated the darkness that her closed eyes created. Something trying to grab her attention.

As she opened her eyes, she saw reds and gold and white. But not from the Daemon that disappeared in black smoke. No. No.  _No_. The reds and golds and whites were from the sun that after ten years of absence rose up from the horizon.

Another sound pierced the air, a wail filled with agony and anger. A wail that was ripped out of her chest as she pressed her hand harder against the injury in her side. Again, the Astrals mocked her. Instead of granting her the peace of knowing she died in a world where Noctis still drew breathe, she would die with the knowledge that Dawn had returned, and he never had the chance to see it.

“Noctis….” she sobbed as the sun went up higher and higher in the skin. Caressing her skin and warming her in a way she had not expected to feel in so long. “I am so sorry.” Her tears tasted bitter and salty as they trickled down her cheeks and gathered on her lips.

The warmth of the sun and its light slowly ebbed away as coldness spread from her side and specks of darkness appeared on the edge of her vision. In her mind, she opened her arms to the darkness. Darkness was good. In darkness, her Noctis had still been alive. She did not wish to be in this world anymore. Peace. That’s what she craved now. An end to her decades of suffering.

Falling back more against the rocks, she closed her eyes one last time as she hoped people would forever remember and cherish the sacrifice Noctis had made.

“Good bye my  _Night_ ,’ she murmured, and her hand dropped as Darkness embraced her one last time.


	4. And Night Becomes Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had made a huge mistake. By the Astrals, don't let him be too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unofficial end/Sequel/Something of the chapters. Thank you all for reading! Let me know what you thought of it.

Noctis ran faster than he ever had. Not caring about anything or anyone. How could he have been such a fool. How could he have been so blind. She had always been by her side. Always smiling. Always supporting him. But what did he do? Trample over her heart. Asked her advice about how he could be a good husband to Luna. And  _never_ did he notice he broke her heart with asking her that. No, chipperly she would answer his questions and soothe his worries while she was dying from the inside.

His wrist  _burned_  where her bracelet she had given him when they were 8 touched his skin. But the burn couldn’t come close to the agony that lashed his heart at the moment. He could hear his friends calling to him to slow down. To wait for them but time was running out. He just knew.

Umbra led the way, as if she had a homing beacon towards her location but he did not waste time worrying about that. Using every ounce of energy he had left to run. Run faster than the wind. He didn’t care about the Dawn. He didn’t care about daemons going up in smoke. He only cared about reaching her.

He should have asked her to come with them. Shouldn’t have been a dumb ass and left her behind. She would have even safer with him than out here in the Wild. Put that on the endless list of mistakes he had made related to her.

“NEKANA!” he sobbed when they rounded a corner and saw a figure slumped back against a bolder. Blood covering the surface and  _glistering_  in the sun light as if it mocked him.

“No no no no.” Why didn’t she respond. She always responded to him. Always. No matter where or what the situation, she always answered his call.

Falling down on his knees beside her, his hands trembled while examining her.  _Too cold_. Her skin felt too cold. “Nekana. Nekana please,” he begged her as he took off his cloak and wrapped it around her limp cold body.

Trails of tears had dried up on her cheeks as she looked too pale. Too still. He buried his face in her hair as he rocked her crying. “Nekana I am so sorry. Please don’t leave me. Not you. Please,” he whispered in her hair as their friends joined them. Gladio quickly tearing open her clothes as Ignis checked her pulse. “Ignis, please tell me she’s still alive.”

The seconds that followed felt longer than the years he had spend in the Crystal. The world almost standing still as the silence crushed on him like the Meteorite on the Titan’s back.  _No please not Nekana. First his mother. Then his father. Then Luna. He would not survive losing Nekana. The one person who had been by his side from day one._

“I got a pulse. It’s too slow. But it’s there.” A sigh of relief escaped all their mouths as Prompto grabbed the curatives, and they cracked it open - administering them to her.

Noctis kept cradling her in his arms and watched her through a blurry vision. Roughly, he brushed his tears away as he kept staring at her. “Come on, Nekana. Come on wake up. Please. Don’t do this to me.” Don’t go silent. How could he live without her laughter and her voice?

He gently shook her but she still didn’t respond. Ignis giving her an elixir and checking her pulse again. Noctis cupped her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. “I’ll eat my veggies till the day I die if you wake up now,” he bargained with her, his voice cracking with undiluted fear.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his arm. The fingers too slender to be of one of his friends. Eyes opened slightly and a sliver of blue could be seen. His heart threatening to leap out of his chest with joy. No joy wasn’t strong enough to describe what he felt. “Even the carrots?” Her voice frail and weak. But still. Her voice.

He let out another sob as he nodded. “Even the carrots.” Hugging her closer, he kissed her forehead adoringly. “I love you, Nekana. I love you. I’m so sorry.”

He heard her chuckle weakly as she snuggled against him. “I love you too, Noctis…more than Dawn itself.”


End file.
